i take it back

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
"you and me" by lifehouse

it took me weeks to figure out what to say because i've felt this way for a few weeks now. when the time came, when it felt okay, i let the words flow, but i never really let it all flow. i tried to, but for some reason, it didnt seem right anymore. as of now, i regret ever letting the words come out from me because i feel like i want to take it back.. usher helped me realize things with his song, "U got it bad".

the problem is that i think too much. i think wayy too much with my head and not enough with my heart. i need to balance it out, but i dont know how. its a really complicated thing.. i want to be able to 'just do it', to just wing it and just be carefree. actually, i am able to 'just do it', but not when i need to. i'm blunt when its not necessary and i'm subtle when i dont need to be.

i want to know the answer you have for the question that i dont even know. its been bugging me and i cant stop thinking about it. i think i've bugged you enough tho.. anyway, thanks for everything, but i dont think i'm in a rush. i hope i'm not. i feel like i am taking my time and i'm trying to be patient with whatever there is to be patient about. i know that there's no need to hurry when i'm making up my mind, but i really dont think its a decision of the mind. its just that with this being so.. foreign.. to me, i'm at a loss for words and i dont know what to do or how to act. i'm being too blunt again.. sorry.

k change of subject!

the closness is really great to have. haha. =) cheska, nette, and linsday are great gals. haha. oh, and andrew's a good guy too.. haha. linsday is the only person i can physically fight/wrestle with while knowing we're not trying to hurt each other intentionally, but only for good fun. haha. nette comes second and cheska comes first when its verbally? haha.

hey, cheska, christy and jon.. thanks for the comments. appreciated it! =D

k i gotta go check if i have hw and then actually do it.. haha. byee