my-hypocritcal-analytical-self

i told myself i wouldnt conform to the style of others, that i would never be offended--or at least not take it seriously--when called a name, that i wouldn't be depressed over simple little things, that i wouldnt be so obsessed with other things--like myspace. what happened? i've started to change into those things i said i would never be.

i really goes to show that you should never say never.

i was told that we must constantly change to improve because afterall, the biggest space there is to fill is the space for improvement. if we dont change or are not willing to change or adjust to what things are becoming/have become, then we'll never be able to know what's really out there.

i say that changes are for the best. i say that where God the Son is--heaven--is the place i want to be, that God the Father has mapped out how to get to that destination with changes, and that God the Holy Spirit is guiding me there slow and steadily. but then what i say is different from what i do. deep down, i know i'm against change. i take the driver's seat, i take the map with my own eyes, and head to where i want to go which is usually away from my original destination. =/ get me?

while trying [keyword: trying] to take a nap and getting some rest, i realized that i'm getting worked up and i'm being so.. bitter.. about the stupidest little things. i realized that i'm doing things that i dont even need to do. i realized a lot of things..
- as much as i'd like it and even tho it starts out that way, i dont think i can like a guy who's my friend.
- i become overwhelmed with jealousy very easily.
- i'm specific about my blogs but at the same time, i'm not.
- i dont do things for myself anymore. i do things for others.

i dunno. a lot of things are running through my head. it bites. i'll leave you with something i found from a guy named Sarasy via myspace: "If I cant help you out of a hole, Ill climb in there with you. Ill smile and say I dont mind. "