depression = broke

its true. haha. i know why i'm broke. now i need to know why i really do shop. so here's my theory..

"i shop because i'm depressed.." isnt really BS, but it isnt really the truth either.

from recent and personal experiences, i've been shopping for things i've been craving to buy--mainly brand named clothes that i wouldnt usually wear or the 'new' or 'in' style of clothes. i believe there's a reason for that: its because its what someone else has. basically, it all comes down to jealousy.

but not the typical jealousy. its more like.. subconscious jealousy. the typical jealousy is "i want this cuz so-and-so has it and i wanna be like him/her.." the subconscious jealousy is like the following example:

your bf/gf has a best friend of the opposite sex. of course, you understand how important friends are and so you dont mind that your bf/gf hangs out with that best friend more than your bf/gf hangs out with you. that best friend wears things like hollister or ambercrombie or AE or aeropostle. you tell yourself you're totally not jealous of that best friend, but deep down inside, you are. the fact that you're in denial causes you to shop and you tend to shop for things that your bf/gf's best friend wears. why? because, although you dont really admit it or know it yourself, you want to be like that best friend and have more attention from your bf/gf. get it?

this example hardly applies to me. well, the actual situation doesnt.. haha.

it IS possible for me to elaborate on this, but knowing who reads this blog.. i'd rather not.

but i admit it. haha. i'm freekin jealous. haha damn it.. eff that.. hahaha! man.. i'm so bitter right now that it actually IS funny. haha k good night, you freekin loser! =P