too much blogging.. oh freekin well

i dont know why but i always have a feeling that i need to blog or else its gonna drive me nuts.. nuttier than i am now.

its really useless tho because as much as i'd like to tell the world how i feel, i cant. why? i cant express into words what they are. i cant tell the world what i think because i know that in someway, i'll be contradicted.

i'm afraid to be challenged after i take the chance. so why do i still take chances? who khnows.

i'm still scared. the fear of failing everything and everyone has yet to leave me. i think its worse now than it was.

the fear of losing everyone freaks me out. but i know that i'm slowly pushing everyone away with insane blogs and with my-prideful-self.

silences and long pauses causes me to be paranoid.

excuses pisses me off, but i tend to use a lot myself. i'm such a hypocrite.

if you think this entry is random, its not. i'm just not elaborating on antying..

i like to debate and argue even while knowing i'll lose except when i'm pissed from the beginning of the conversation. if so, then just shut your face.

i'm bitter like an effer and i'm getting angrier and more bitter by the second.

i need to get off the internet.. damnit. it just fuels the fire within me.

eff this.

something's definitely wrong. i blog like 3 times a day for goodness sake! i wish i knew what's up, but i dont.

i still need that hug..

i'm going to bed. i have to do homework tomorrow morning..