arguments and debates

recently, its impossible for me to avoid them.

the thing is, i'm very stubborn? [i think i get it from my family..] i dont know what the right word is, but that's all i can think of. its hard for me to let my guard down and if by chance i do, there's only two main resons why: to gain a friendship, or to offer it all up to the Lord. sadly, both don't happen that often.

i had this argument with my parents just now because of my stubborness. its not a big thing, but it revolved around my brother. well, i use(d) that as an excuse, but i know in my mind, it was about me.

growing up, i dont really remember my parents forcing me to do my homework, check my work to see if its right, read my essays and reports until around the end of 8th grade. my brother has received that kind of attitude from my parents since he started school. they've been tripping about how low his scores are in english and they're putting so much pressure on him already about college. [note: he's only in 4th grade.] maybe it was jealousy that took over, maybe it was the fact that i know how it feels to be pressured [even tho not at such an early age].. but i started defending him and arguing against my parents about how they're 'too involved'.

i dont know. i'm just going crazee now days.

i think i'm the one thats 'too involved'.