unknown

so i forgot to say why i woke up at 8. i had an LSS run-through type of thing with TM. it was pretty cool. i like how things are going. =)

afterwards, melanie, andrew, and i went to tshirt warehouse. since we were near by, we decided to visit cheska. melanie bought her a 49-cent cone from mcdonalds and we watched her debut video. on the way home, melanie and i were talking about the beach and decided we were gonna go sometime this week just to chill.

might end up as an LF girls day out. hehe.

then i went to a baptism in pink and white.. i matched the EVERYTHING cuz the baby is a girl so everything was pink and white. k, well maybe not everything, but close enough.. haha. chillage with some cousins and asked around to see how much contacts are.

i really want contacts! shoot.. if i had the opportunity to ask for something from my parents for my brithday, i'd ask for them.. but i dont. why? i'll bring that up later.. haha.

so after the baptism party was the novena/prayer which was at the same house. i didnt stay long cuz i had to go home and change and get my guitar before prayer meeting.

setting up was hectic! i think i broke something on my guitar cuz i dropped it. =/ but it ended up working again so maybe i fixed it? who knows. pray that its not messed up!

then prayer meeting itself was a little on the long side. sister bridgette's sister who is a sister [a nun] gave a talk on media, communication, and life. it was interesting, but i guess it was the fact that she was kinda mono-tonic [is that a word] and the fact that i was really sleepy that i made the night seem longer than it was.

deicded to round up everyone and visit cheska again cuz she said to call after prayer meeting. so we did. we played halo. haha. cheska was rollin'! haha man, that girl wanted vengance. i kinda trained roxsan which was pretty weird cuz of all people.. its me who helped her out.. the one who isnt good at halo. haha. she's better than me now tho.. killed andrew more times than i have without trying and got second place during her third game or so.

got home like midnightish. confronted my mom about the lost earing. then i tried talking to her more about what's going on and why i've been so busy but she kept ignoring me. in theory, i dont think she meant to.. she just wanted to get her point straight across that my studies should come first.

i dunno. i'm scared about school. i'm scared about life. i mean where am i gonna be in the next 10 years? hell, where am i gonna be by next year? failing? succeeding? its all too much to think about.

everytime college is brought up, i shoot the subject down or change it up. but just because i dont wanna talk about it doesnt mean i dont think about it. that's the thing: i DO think about it. i think about my future constantly and immensely. so much that i dont wanna talk about it because i know that if i do, i'm gonna break down.

i honestly dont know what's gonna happen to me. i'm scared for dear life but i know i should be okay. i know what i have to do and i already planned on doing it. its just a matter of getting things done and taking little steps, but its easier said than done.

deng this is long. whatever. i'm gonna go see what i can do before i sleep..