Frieeend

No, not me. I have a "friend" who likes my "other friend". But that "other friend" doesn't know. And I'm afraid that my "other friend" might not know that he/she is leading on my "friend".

Friends. *sigh* Can never have too much! =) Unless of course, you have too many on myspace and it takes you forever to look through your friends list just to fine ONE particular person. haha.

Just to clarify things: there is a difference between "friend" and "frieeend". A lot of people don't seem to understand that. Haha. If you don't understand it, then come talk to me and I'll explain it to you! =)

So friendships. I'm always telling myself about how I want to get over the past--take that however you want to. In a sense, I'm trying to rebuild a friendship. Well, actually, a few friendships. But it seems so hard because I can't just go up to them and say "Hello" and pull off something lame like a pick-up line to lighten up the mood. Because no matter what I seem to do, I know that there is and always will be some kind of tension--a very discouraging factor when trying to start anew. I mean its not as if the intensity were as it used to be: hardcore. And its not as if the situation I'm in is like before: taboo. It's just... weird and full of tension. And I hate it.

In a sense, I do appreciate it. Losing the cliques I belonged to freed me and enabled me to mingle more. It got me jumping into friendships with different types of people--meaning I'm more social now than I was last winter. (But I'm still a bit anti-social... =/) At the same time, I'm more lost than I've ever been--more so than last winter (and boyyy was I lost)!

We had this one session at prayer meeting around a month ago. We were talking about sex. There was a group question like, "Do you have a close enough friend in the community whom you can talk about sex with?" type of thing. I sat there and I thought for a while and came up with "No" for an answer. I can talk to people in the community about almost anything, but only if it just happens to come up in the conversation, yeh know? I don't have a confidant in the community. That's what it is.

I don't have a confidant at all. Well, I have God and Mama Mary, but its... different? I'm not necessairly in need of one. I'm just saying it'd be cool to have one? Haha.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I write too much. Eh. Its not like I'm burdening anyone... like anyone really reads every entry I post on here... just me. Ha!

I have to read like a 300 page book in the next month, watch 2 or 3 movies and post online about the book and the movies for my summer homework. I'm going to start. Just as soon as I buy the book. Hah.


Okay, so its like 12:10AM right now.
I was just on Myspace and all these thoughts went through my head.
I think I might not go to prom... Ha.
Saves money, saves time, saves effort. =)
If I do go, I think I shall go stag.
I'm a genious!