Potential

Potential = possibilities.
Possibilities = endless!

'Nough Said.

PROM!

It was good. Real good. =D

Pictures are up! I really wish I took more tho... Haha.

Made new friends and caught up with old ones. =)

Got home after prom, changed, told mom I was leaving and left for IHOP. 3am, ended up at Anthea's awesome house and chilled. Laughed! Knocked out on her floor. Woke up 8am to find people playing DS. Mom called to check in around 8:30am. Fell back asleep somewhere in between. Went home around 11am. =)

Tomorrow: sing for 9:15 mass. Movie/Mafia night in the "high room"?? Hahah!

Monday: "project" & off to work. (blechh...)

READ ME

When I'm quiet = moody or contemplative
When I'm quiet and ignoring you = irritable
When I'm ignoring you and laughing = pissed off
When I'm laughing and talking to you = bitter
When I'm hyper = delirious or sleepy
When I'm sleepy and tired = depressed

When I figure out the rest of my emotions, I'll be sure to let you know...

Not Once

When have I asked you for money that you don't owe me?

Now. Let me be.

Why can't I ever just BE a bitch? Yeah, I can talk like one. Yeah, I can act like one. But in all actuality, I've never really let the bitch inside of me do its thing. Not once have I disrespected anyone to the point where I had no remorse or regret or guilt. Not once have I cussed someone out for the sake of telling them off. Not once have I screamed my lungs out at someone I've been wanting to yell at for months. Yeah, I complain. But it's all I can fuckin do. Why can't I do anything else about my problems?

People constantly walk all over me, knowing that I won't fight back, leaving me on the floor, helpless and alone, to rot into dust.

Do you know why I want to leave? Because I'm tired of people leaving me behind. I'm tired of saying good-bye to the people I care about most. I'm tired of being cornered into the same position over and over again. I'm ready to finally say, "Fuck everything. It's my turn now." I'm ready to be the one to leave them behind. I'm ready to prove that I'll be well once I get my share of fresh air.

Yeeah boyyy.

Fresh friendships rising up to the sky
And without a doubt, without asking why,
We became who we are, and will be niggies fo' life.
It's in our blood and you can't stop us.
Don't even try to make a fuss
Cuz you know you can't handle this.
Here's my advice:
Don't role the dice.
Don't take the risk.
Don't you dare try to get in the mix.
All that's gonna happen is you getting dissed
And me getting pissed
To the point where I wouldn't want to
And won't attempt to
Justify the wrongs and the rights
Or why I wrote what I did tonight.
We gon' chill, relax and take it slow
Even though we have no where to go
Cuz that's how we roll.
We homies, buddies, niggies fo' life.

In other news: prom is in 2 weeks. Hahahaha!

On a more serious note: woo-hoo for AP testing!

Something on my mind: shut the "F" up already! Talk about patience, perseverance and persistent... geesg!

All The Same

"Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same"
Sick Puppies - "All The Same"

Gah. My legs are sore. It's what I get for running a mile and a half... Hah!

I locked myself in my room for most of Sunday. It was great but depressing at the same time. I really wish I could've been else where...

My parents wonder where the heck all my money goes. Sometimes I do too. But looking back, it goes either them or me. Some of their gas, my food, my clothes/dresses, and nearly all my "senior year" expenses (aside from the AP fees and college-related things) have all come out of my pocket. Its not that I'm complaining. It makes sense that I pay for it because I do work. What's sad is that a part of me can't help but hold a grudge because I thought I was suppose to use my money for my vacation to the Philippines... Both my mom and my dad told me that I don't even have to work, but they don't realize that I actually do.

Sometimes no one understands my need to just chill. NOT work, NOT volunteer, NOT coordinate dances/practices for debuts and bands... JUST CHILL.

I'm tired. Worn down. Burnt out. The heat is already making its way to town. Now, I'm only waiting on summer. Oh, won't you please hurry up and arrive already...

On a much lighter note, I think I'm joining/starting a band. =) We are expecting to start recording a few things around November/December, so watch out for us!

Niggy

I find it ridiculous that the ONE time I TRY to be honest and trustworthy, everything blows up in my face. ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.

"Niggy" (11:22:38 PM): you just feel like your just up against the corner and everything in your life is just holding you there. so you just fall down, and theres not even space for you to pick yourself back up. so then your like, fuck...how do i get out of this goddamn corner? but you know what, your just as tough as everything standing in your way. so you just gotta push those fuckers down one by one. then you'll find that you can stand up again. you just look at that damn devil, and say..."fuck you, imma get through this"

Thank you soo much...

Workout Plan!

Okay, so I started working out like a month ago in preparation of what's to come (prom, debuts, graduation, and summer in general). It didn't work out too well. I stopped when my grandfather passed away. But now I think I REALLY need to get back on track. Keep me on check, will ya?

Tasks until I get extremely tired of them or until I get in really good shape:
- Run at least a mile EVERY(week)DAY
- 10 sets in 50 reps of different crunches/sit-ups stuff every night
- Tae-bo! (30 minute video?) every other day
- Staying away from sweets & deserts
- Less rice (I don't think I can go on the "No Rice" diet... I'm too Filipino! =D)
- Eat more fruits & vegetables (and make shakes when I have time)
- Seafood instead of meat

And... go! =) Wish me luck and pray for me!

Prodigy

Hey, I wouldn't mind if I am your prodigy. =)

If anything, I take it as a compliment!