It's about strength and the courage to do right over wrong. To do good over bad. To reconcile instead of avoiding them. It's about love, hope and faith. How much do you have of each for others? For God? For yourself?
Can a good person go to heaven? Can a good person, without Christ, go to heaven?
I'm the type of person who needs structure. I need a sense of organization, a sense of order. I don't know what I'd do without it. But strangely enough, I'm probably the most disorganized and disoriented in my family... I'm probably the laziest, most ambitious person you'll ever come to meet. The even stranger part: I don't want to be this person. Don't get me wrong--being on track and on the ball is something I'd rather have than havoc, but I need to get out of the routine. I need to see and experience new things. I need more.
Or do I want more? It's so hard to differentiate between my desires and my necessities.
So many doubts. So many options. So many things...
I'm ready. For applications. For stress. For college. If not, then I will be. I have to keep telling myself this. Please, remind me that I'm not alone and that I'll be all right.
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