Monday, April 02, 2007

Damn it.

Don't talk to me.
Don't talk to me about my family, about my future/college plans, about scholarships, about homework, about boys, about church, about me.
Unless you have some [freakishly] good news (such as: my grandfather rose from the dead), don't talk to me at all.

One word of "advice" or expression which serves no purpose to me (such as the words: "I'm sorry"), one phrase of stupidity, one line of an insult... and you can be sure that you'll have a bruise on your face.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
GET THAT INTO YOUR HEAD.

Quit asking me questions I don't have answers to. Quit acting like living and growing up is a f*ckin easy process. Quit trying to get in my face saying you understand--because you don't. You don't understand how it feels to loose three family members from the same side of the family in the span of 5 days. You don't understand how hard it is to be thousands of miles away from your family. You don't understand the pressure on my shoulders to do well in high school and even better in college. You don't understand how it is to suddenly become a parent to your younger sibling and take up all these responsibilities because you're afraid your mother will collapse out of stress. You don't understand how it feels to "run" a f*ckin' club with a Dance Coordinator who overpowers you and is favored by the head adviser while trying to keep up with all sorts of f*ckin' tests, quizzes and projects. Quit fantasizing that I'm some ingenious kid, like my older sister. Quit pretending like I'm oblivious to the fact that my future IS important, like my little brother.

Quit it. Quit on me.
I gave up a long time ago and I think it's just about time you realize that and give up on me as well.

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