wooshhh

Driving with an instructor is fun. Especially if the instructor is one of your friend's dad. =)

Myspace. It comes in handy sometime.

So what are the chances that I'll still have some of my Christmas money on Valentine's Day? I really really think they're slim. Haha.

Happy New Year!!

Post-Christmas Post

Holidays and special occasions are awesome--until someone forgets, someone doesn't show up, nothing seems special about it, or saddening things are remembered.

The first three reasons are why I hate planning and why I dislike my birthday. But heyy, I gotta make do with what I am given and usually, I'm given a selected number of people to spend whatever was planned or my brithday with. Praise God.

A year ago, the "Asian Tsunami" or "Boxing Day Tsunami"--whichever you prefer--took place. A year ago, my dad got into a car accident on the way to work. A year ago, I cried for over 275,000 souls which were lost. A year ago, I cried for my dad being safe. A year ago, I cried for being alive.

Today was a day like no other. Christmas day with friends and family. I could ask for more, like have everyone complete, but I won't. Why? Simply because I made do with what I was given and I experienced one of the best Christmases ever.

2005 is a memorable year. It makes me look forward to 2006.

Thank you for your prayers, Mama Mary. Please continue to pray for us sinners; cover us with your mantle of protection and keep us out of harm's way.

Holy Trinity, one God, my Lord, have mercy on us. Thank you for your infinite and unconditional love. Please, continue to bless and guide each of our bodies, minds, hearts and souls as we continue to try to live our lives in accordance to your will.

Christmas Eve '05

"When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time."
John Mayer's "St. Patrick's Day"

Converse with older people. They may not always be wise, but they have a lot of good things to say. Oh, and when I say "older", I don't necessarily mean middle-aged people. Just older in gernal.

Merry Christmas!!

Back To You

"I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away
Not this way"
- John Mayer

I can never learn John Mayer songs. I always find them a little on the complicated side. Either that or the music I find online is incorrect. He's one talented guy. I just don't like the way he looks when he sings live.. haha.

Exorcism of Emily Rose is a good movie. I didn't really finish it, but from what I saw, it was... fulfilling. I know that it brought me closer to God.

It's almost 3am. It's 2:58.

DMDL; good stuff. =) If you don't know what it is, then oh well. Haha. I'll eventually share it.

*It's 3am.*

I'm somewhat surprised my parents don't say much. I asked my dad to watch it at GP's and he didn't say no and didn't even say it was too late for me to go out when it was already 9pm. I got home at 11:30 and my mom didn't get mad. I'm sure they expected it out of me, since its how i was during summer, but the fact that they're not saying much is new to me.

I have a busy week ahead of me. Strange; I didn't plan on doing anything during break except winter homework and projects.

I shall go to sleep now because I'm tired and I have to do things tomorrow!!

blech..

I just spent the last hour or so fixing minor, insignificant details of things online which I know, for a fact, people won't notice. Ehh. What can I say? I'm not a hardcore perfectionist, but lots of little things bug me.

Tonight was intercessory at Geraldine's. It felt nice to get back into meetings again--since I haven't had a meeting for a ministry (excluding Music) in ages. And it felt nice to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, too. Reminder: look for a prayer and write out the next meeting into the planner.

Afterwards, Christy wanted to watch a movie. I wanted to watch one too, but I didn't have much money on me, so I just ended up at GP's with Nette and Victor, Andrew, and Don at GP's house. We played poker. =) We think Victor's addicted and that this is the new LF pass-time activity. Halo2 was soo last year! Hah! (And Halo3 is soo next year--and I'm serious about it!)

Got my SAT scores. Hahah.

I should sleep. Tomorrow calls for cleaning. =)

And I wonder..

Weekend was well-spent down south in San Diego. =) The formally-dressed young and old were gathered together under one roof insanely taking pictures, getting fat, laughing, reminiscing and planning. I loved it!

Christmas really brings families together. Thank you, Jesus!

On that note, I wonder what life would be like if I stayed in the Philippines. Or if I even got to go back this year. It sure as heck would've been more festive--not that it wasn't festive this year, because it really was--it's just that goshh. I've got neices and nephews who are already like 5 whom I haven't even met, cousins getting married, cousins having babies...

Often, I wonder how much I'm missing out on. Not just when it comes to family back home, but everything like... How much do I miss out on life by being lazy? Or how much do I miss out on moments with family when I'm at church events? Or how much do I miss out on church events when I'm with other friends? In the past month--heck, in the past week--I've noticed how out of place I am with a lot of people/crowds.

The only place I don't feel left out at these days is when I'm with my family. Praise God for them. =)

Family. <33

winter break

Its gonna suck for a while. I'm gonna spend it recovering.

I was told once that drinking a shot of tequila will help you heal faster when you're sick or something of that sort. Makes me wonder...

Museum Of Contemporary Art. MOCA. I wanna gooooo. Take meee. (To both MOCAs--because there are two of them).

So I found out that the trip to visit the East Coast with my academy is abount $700. It's not just New York. =/ The over all expenses would probably be like what? $1,000? I really wanna go.

I don't feel so well. I'm going to sleep.

oh man..

5 weeksss. eeks.

My family got me sick. =/ We're all pretty much sniffling and coughing and have soar throats. I don't like it one bit.

Today, there's a toy drive at lunch. I should be getting out of this class (Intro to computers) and heading down to the outdoor-stage cuz I'm the one "in carge" of the project. Gosh deng it. I have no script to follow, no ideas in mind, and I'm going crazeeeeee.

Afterschool there's Christmas Caroling practice for ASA at my house. around 50+ kids at my house. I'm scared.

Tomorrow, I have to go visit Mount Saint Mary's with a group of people for my Personal Development final. Gahh. During rush hour and everything. =/

I need to breathe and take some medicine. My head hurts. =/

"tomorrow" is today

Today, auspiciously, brought something better for me to smile it.

Those words of the day from dictionary.com are cool stuff man.

I saw how much my parents really love us. My brother's sick. Because of it, my parents were all quiet and gentle, as if a part of them was sick. It was really... cute.

I've come to a conclusion that 8pm-11pm are my lazy hours. I don't do homework. Know what sucks? 11:30pm-1am are my "hard to stay awake" hours. Hah.

Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

"I am somebody. Yes I am, Yes I am."

Today just helped me see the quirks and flaws I have even more.

I am no artist. I am selfish. I am inconsiderate. I am a hypocrite. I am prideful. I am afraid to get hurt. I'm a talker. I am weak. I crave attention. I overlook mistakes. I make too many mistakes. I am.. crying.

Yesterday, I cried during mass. I cried a lot. But I know that I held back.

Today, I almost teared up a countless amount of times. Why? Because of what I said and did, and what I didnt say or do.

Tomorrow, who knows what it'll bring.

5 more school days til break.

MOCA is awesome. I want to go back. Please, oh please, would you go with me during winter break? Lets go vist both MOCAs. And stop by Wacko. =)

I'm writing about school at the beginning of the weekend. blech.

Robby is funny

I just HAD to spread it out. =) Taken from Jon's blog which was taken from Robby's blog, this crap is wonderful.. hahaha.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and..
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

but..
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and..
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

and, look how far ass kissing will take you..
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

so, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that..

while hardwork and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and ass kissing that will put you over the top.

I did a report thingy for Intro to Computer. For now, I plan to major in Public Relations and become a Public Relations Manager or Public Relations Specialist. Ha!

Okay, I'm out. I gotta go paint a banner for the Junior Counsil Toy Drive which I'm sorta in charge for. Then home. Then Austine will pick up my sun glasses for something. My dad will then drop off me and my brother at the church while he goes and picks up my cousins from the airport from the Philippines. (Yay! Pasalubong!!) So that's MASS at 7pm because it is a HOLY DAY OF OBLIGATION (in celebration of the Immaculate Conception). But we'll see if we change plans. =)

"It's beginning..

..to look a lot like Christmas."

I love it. Driving down the streets where lit Christmas lights hang, being wrapped up in layers of clothing (and blankets if you're about to sleep), shopping (if you can afford it) for last minute gifts.. wonderful! =)

So for the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to get to sleep. Every night, I'd lay in my bed and think for at least an hour before I fall asleep. Every night, I think of the same things over and over and over again. And people have noticed how different I've been acting. Lailani asked why I am "being so emo" lately. Haha. It's weird..

But then again, weird is beautiful and beautiful is weird. Everything will work out for the best! I trust in God!! =D

Reminiscing

April:

• "I wear you."
• "I have trouble commiting to friendships. its why i know so many people but at the same time, i'm not really that close to anyone."
• "its easier to avoid confrontation than to actually do it, but everyone--including the Lord--knows that its better off for your sake and for the well being of everyone who cares about you to deal with problems sooner as opposed to later."

May:

• "its hard for me to accept the fact that i'm getting older. why? because i know that the older i get, the more changes i'll have to go through, the more pain and suffering i have to endure. but at the same time, i know that with the pain and with the suffering comes the joy and happinessand the love you feel which occurs afterwards."
• "relationships are what make my cry the most. not bf/gf type of thing, but relationships in general. no matter if it be a relationship with my siblings, my parents, my friends, or God, i'll cry my heart out given the circumstances. . . blessings. its what they are. i appreciate them oh-so-very much and i praise God for allowing me to meet and have such wonderful people in my life."
• "life is like music. . . love is like music."
• "just hug me. please. i just need those types of hugs.."
• "If I cant help you out of a hole, Ill climb in there with you. Ill smile and say I dont mind."
• "how do you not have a.....?!" hah!
• "Closure."

June:

• "sometimes i think that i'm really not as independent as i claim myself to be."
• "its not that great to hang around a big place full of faces you hardly even talk to anymore. . . i wandered in and out of crowds, hoping that somewhere, i'd be able to find the comfort of.. home."
• -"no wonder you're the favorite.." -"suck up.. =P"

Oh! The joy of reminiscing! Hah! =)

Sometimes, I wonder where I went wrong with some relationships to be feeling the way I do right now. I hold myself accountable because after all, a relationship--any relationship--is a two way street, right? I just wish I know how to make it all up. If it doesn't get any better, I don't think anything band will happen. With that said, should I be worried? Because I am.

i <-heart-3 music

It's all I need to calm down. It's all I need to express myself.

It's been about a month and a half since my Jack Johnson craze-phase. =) It's not over yet. Hah!

10 more school days until break!
6 days til the LF Christmas Party!
13 days until I head down to San Diego for 3 days and 2 nights for the mom's side's fam bam Christmas Reunion!!
21 more days til Christmas!! =D

Oh gosh. I MUST go shopping for presents soon.

Deng Cal and their finals. Now I have no one to drive me to go shopping! Haha. Joke only.

I like conversations which last hours about nothing. =)

Ate Rose says I'm somewhat pensive. Haha. I like that!

Kuya Lou is an awesome photographer with an awesome camera.

I think I might take Psychology with Melanie at either Harbor or El Camino during Winter Session. Austine mentioned something about overloading. Maybe?

I have to memorize some Spanish for tomrorow and a whole scene for Theatre by Wednesday. This sucks. I hate my memory. I swear. I remember the most insignificant things, but when it comes to really memorizing what's needed, I don't. =/

I miss Kuya Dinand. I could've talked to him on the phone today if my mom's phone card didn't run out of minutes. ...Stupid phone cards who says there are like 113 minutes and lasts like 48...

Laugh

SATs were... okay. The instructor/supervisor kept staring at me. My butt went numb. Hah! It wore me out. One moment, maybe it'll even be in 5 minutes, I'll read this and laugh.

I'm a bored person but this thing...

...makes me laugh! =D

Sidenote: I heard those guys were freshies at Cal when they did this in '03. Haha.

Laugh. It's contagious and adventageous. It's the best medicine in the world. It makes feel young again. Just laugh.

I tried

I tried. I really did.

One simple thing made me smile genuinely, but that one simple thing caused me this... I'm not quite sure what I mean by "this". But it's as sure as heck isn't something good.

Take me out. =)

The Laramie Project

Happy 29th Birthday, Matthew Shepard.

Matthew shepard was 21 when he was brutally murdered on the evening of October 12, 1998 in Laramie Wyoming. The Laramie Project is a play constructed by 5 actors and writers about Matt's world-renowned case.

I watched it tonight.

For two and a half hours, my dad waited in the car for me so he wouldn't have to waste gas making two trips and just so I can watch that play. I love him.

I got lost going to Santa Monica College. I went to the wrong campus or wrong part of the college. I asked both Lindsay and Noel for directions. Praise God I know people who are familiar with that area.

I got lost looking for the theatre after I found the right campus of SMC. Security told me to go go to this one place, but it was something of the Angel Food Fundraising thing. There was a red carpet with lights and railings on one side and the repetative logo of the corporation in the background (like when the stars walk out from the grammy's). Walking through it made me feel.. special. The fact that people there were nice enough to give me directions to the correct place was awesome. I was able to walk through the bunker where I think a silent auction was being held and where lots of high-rollers were in. I never imagined I'd experience something like that. Awesome stuff.

Today, I learned that getting lost isn't always so bad. It may be stressful and extremely irritating, but in the end, everything will work out for the best. Great experiences come when you find yourself again.

Too many things are going through my mind right now. I have some homework to take care of and I'm sleepy [since I didnt get my nap and didnt get home til around 10.] =/ Good night.

beautiful!

The little things we fail to notice makes us who we are. The little things we always notice makes us who we are.

I enjoy how the little thoughts and memories of the yesterdays make me smile and/or laugh randomly throughout the day. It makes the day bearable to experience.

I really dislike school right now.

I think I have a little too much pride. Either that or I'm just selfish. It really sucks.

Sometimes I feel like I have to be needed in order to belong. Get me? As of now, I'm not really needed in that many things, unlike before. Maybe that's why I feel so... lost.

In 15 days, it'll be winter break.

Beautiful!

Random Thought: My neice in Cypress has never worn a shirt twice to school. She doesn't mind wearing jeans, skirts, jackets, scarves, accessories and stuff over and over again, but she refuses to "repeat" shirts. She goes shopping practically every weekend.

Note to self: Don't buy her clothing for Christmas. Don't buy her clothing--period.