Wow, dude...

I went over text messages. Haha. Who would have thought it would happen... I certainly wouldn't have thought so!

She's right. Gahhh. I hate that I can't be honest...

Weee for summer! =)

"Lost and Found" by DMADL

You start by moving,
as you walk, run, or sprint
to where you wish to go
Then you realize that you are
Lost
In a small world you have explored everyday,
You are
Lost
In a place you could tread with your eyes closed,
You are
Lost
You stop
For a short gasp of breath
You look
for familiar faces with smiles
You listen
For chuckles, wheezes, whispers, gossip, yells, and groans
You feel
For the warmth of love and embrace of company from friends
Only to find
Coldness
Anonymity
Indifference
Monotony
Emptiness

Then, you move on

Walking, striding, running, sprinting,
Like a ray of light that pierces a cut diamond
You find yourself hitherto, thitherto,
You rush to classrooms and gardens
In search of warm company
And as you do find these circles
That are not of your own
You feel repulsion
Stain
Defiance
Territory
Rejection
You stop
from bursting a living bubble
You listen
for a familiar tune that calls you to it
You feel
a chilling breeze that whisks you away

Then, you move on.

You stop and feast your eyes on a fresh ensaymada
You take a few pesos out of your malnourished wallent
Take a bite out of your newly purchased merienda
Then realize you are not even hungry
You think twice, one thought for the street child, another for the green trash bin beside you
Goodbye, ensaymada.

Then, you move on.

Walking, striding, running, sprinting,
Sprinting, running, striding, walking
Your body runs as your mind walks
Your mind runs as your body walks
You dart into your own world
Walking aimlessy under the shy sun

Then, a familiar sound.

Fifteen times, the sweet bell resounds
You stop
To repaint the blurry image in your mind--a room of chalk and cheers and chicks
You look
Toward the rocky walkway, slowly being filled with faces floating dreamily
You listen
For the last notes of the anticipated signal
You feel
The growing rush of excitement and candor and joy

The signal stops.

Then, you move on
Walking, striding, running, sprinting,
Toward the bright world you call your own.

"Your imperfections make you perfect..."

THOSE are the magic words. =)

Thank you for remembering, Angela...

I'm at work but nothing's really going on. I brought my yearbook along and all the entries are punching me in the face; high school is really over... I'm still amazed.

Mwahah!

Down the street, around the corner, under the lamppost, in the rain.

One day...

I'm in that girly mood. Oh no... Haha!
WARNING: do not provoke me, do not stop me. Just let me be. =)

Weekends

Weekends are the best. Spending time with family is just amazing. I need more weekends like the last--it might actually be nicer if there wasn't any drama. Hah!

Thursday night spent finishing a few finals after wasting an hour of my life arguing with a former friend. REAL NICE.

Friday: went to school in the morning to get people to sign yearbooks and hang around pointlessly. Got picked up by Ash and walked out of school during the beginning of 4th period like I was some kind of employee.. haha! Stopped by Babies R Us and the gas station, headed over to Koletty's to set up for the peer party--boy, was that fun! Played with the dogs, signed yearbooks, got fat, talked, laughed, jammed, took pictures and all that stuff until 5pm. Rode with Lani and Cheri back to Carson. Showered, dressed, make-up and picked up to go to Nessa's Debut. Ate dinner and enjoyed the program. Went to Guppy's around 11ish, hung around with the court and stuff 'till 1:30ish, got home like 1ish--all thanks to Tobhen! =)

Saturday: Wrapped lumpia, chilled, then prayer meeting. =D

Sunday: wash the car and cleaned the bathroom (particularly the shower). Went to 12:45pm mass. Home Depot to pick up a Father's Day gift for my Daddy. Stopped by home. Went out to eat a late lunch and chilled at my uncle's house until 4:30ish. Got picked up by a few cousins and went to Riverside to watch the graduation ceremony which ended around 8:30ish? Waited for the reservations at the amazing restaurant for about an hour. Ate a late dinner 10. Loitered in the parking lot for another good half hour and played with the kids--damn they're cute! Haha. Chilled at the graduate's house in Riverside until about 1am? Got home around 2am.

Today: Slept in--FINALLY! Stayed home--FINALLY! Bummed out until work at 4. Went to work, did a few paper work and ended up umpiring for the Sandlot/T-ball games. Deng, those kids are funny... =)

Currently: I am still at work. A little cold because the air is running and a little dirty from all the games earlier. Just a tad bit tired and ready to just go home and do those darn yearbook dedication pages--FINALLY. Hahah.

Tomorrow: School in the morning; chill until I have to help distribute the cap and gowns around 11am with the counselors. Chill. Work at 5. =)

Everything seems to be like a long dream...
I hate it, but I love it at the same time.

Sir...

...you are on the other side of the world, 15-16 hours away... but I still believe we'll meet, even if it a few years down the road. =)

...you are hot! I smile about getting a hug from you once. Imagine how happy I am to have gotten 3. Mwahahah!

...you are an unbelievably patient, but also quite annoying guy.

...you are such a baby! =P but you're cute. hahaha.

Animosity

It's fuckin' everywhere.
I see it in everyone &
I see it in everything.
Like there's no tomorrow,
People should apologize
For the wrong things they've done
And realize
That that life is a game
Which can never be won
Unless you are at peace
With the world,
With your friends and family,
And most importantly,
With yourself.
So screw it.
Forget the animosity.
Forget the tension.
Stop hating on people without reason.
Stop dissing the people who are different from you
Because in the long run
We're all daughters and sons
Of the one and only
Father
Who loved us with His all.

All Good Things...

Flames to dust,
Lovers to friends,
Why do all good things
Come to an end?

There's something about the end of the school year, especially this year that makes me miss it.

I feel so worthless right now. Useless. Purposeless. Insignificant.

But all at the same time, I'm... okay. I feel loved.

Eh. Its what I get for being a floater...

I just want to get away right now. I'm tired of yearbook signings, of BS projects, of cleaning... Just let me be. Please.

Slow down...

...i just want to get to know you.

Now, if that we're true, I'd be talking to you right now... haha!

But on the down low though. I saw someone I haven't seen in a long time. She's younger than me, but she had a baby. I missed her for a while. And just spending 30 seconds in the same room as her to say "hello" and then "see ya!" made me feel so much younger. It's so... different.

I feel like time has passed by. Like a friend of mine wrote in her Xanga, I think I actually want things to slow down. At the same time, I want things to go just a tad bit faster. Spare me the trouble of saying see-ya-laters, writing in yearbooks and holding back a few tears. Save me from this pointless era in my life when I show up to school and work and feel so out of place, purposeless, useless. Take me to somewhere I'd rather be: a party, the beach, a kickback.

Unproductively, I sit in my room like a dog on a leash without anything or anyone but myself tying me down. Why?

I'm week. Migraines. Inconsistent behavior. Insomnia. Social loneliness? Conclusion: depression. (No lie.)

Balcony

ISWAK: S
Oh, if only someone else shared my madness! =D

Today was definitely one to remember. "Go Maharlika!" HAH!

Happy Birthday. I hope you know I remembered on my own... I just wished I greeted you in 1st, but it's just so hard because the little posse you formed is too cool for me.
I said: "Do you know how hard it is to not have an actual best friend?"
She said: "Yes. I never did."
All this time, I thought she did. But she's like me--if anything, in a better position than me. I had you and I honestly considered you as one of my best friends. But you dropped me in a snap for no particular reason. AHHH. I don't want to hold it against you anymore. I don't want to hold a grudge. I don't want to be fake. I don't want to be mean on your birthday. But I don't think I'll stop until I figure out or until you give me a reason for all the pain I had to go through by losing you.

It's time to go to sleep. I have to fix a slideshow tomorrow.

Nobody

I'm spending my night on the computer because my computer is whack--if that makes any sense at all. I'm trying to make a slideshow "the easy way" when in all actuality, it's a very long process...

Anyway, boys seem to be making their way into my life. Haha! I think it's pretty... gross... haha. Oh well. More guy friends couldn't hurt, right? =)

Mwahahaha!

8 days of school/instruction left, suckkah!!! =D

Lost yah!

I totally lost you... hahah. Oh well!

I'm sure you'll find your way back to me. Mwahah.