Antisocial.

It's sooo bad.

It's not that I don't wanna make friends. More like I can't, even though I really should. Why? My psyche has been disturbed due to past failed friendships.

I had to reply today. Even after the silence and having been ignored for months, I couldn't bare to ignore her one bit. I couldn't let her walk away or reply without giving her an amicable smile. I felt this wave of emotions of anger and confusion hit me right after it all happend; I wanted to punch a wall. "What the hell just happened?" She came out of no where, alone, vulnerable, (literally) as a lost child and I could've walked away without smiling and I could've became a big-itch, but I didn't do that. I empathized with her... Searching for those friends whom you'd "need" to converse with in order to have a "normal" day... The difference between her and I: she found those friends.

In order to avoid future occurances of these awkward moments, I hold myself back and lack the capacity to "grab my balls" and talk to new people, ergo, making me antisocial.