New Year's Resolution

Deleted my last post because it consisted of all the repressed anger coming out as sarcastic randomness. I'm better now.

I'm low in aplomb. Therefore, my New Year's resolution shall be to raise up my confidence. How? Gotta stop thinking about "What ifs" when it comes to simple decision making--like saying hi to a few friends here and there.

I started today. I made one of the most terrifying phone calls in my life and gave someone something which I really hope I won't end up regreting. Until now, almost 9 hours later... the scene of giving that thing to that person and walking away as fast as I can before I did something stupid (like take back the letter)... it's still playing in my head.

It's funny how I told myself I wouldn't let this particular, rather lonesome, situation get in the way of the retreat. But it did. I told myself I'd let go and let God do His thing, but I just can't. Maybe if I understood why things are the way they are in the first place, it'd be easier to sink in. But I don't understand, so it's not easy at all.

I revealed too much today. I told 4 people that I have a crying spot in my room. No one knew that. Oh, now you know too. =) I'm lame.

I'm curious about what people do to letters. I save mine. Then I end up losing it in my room somewhere after a year or two. But sadly, I don't really reply. Am I suppose to?

"We should compromise. It should be me and you against the problem and not us against each other." Related. It's a good show.