1am post

its 1am. =) and i'm still awake. i'm glad i took that shower at 11pm. really helped me out to stay awake this far.

so i took a 1 hour nap earlier. may not seem like much but man it helped me! haha.

so i can kinda put pressure with my thumb. =D haha. so how did i mess it up? remember how i mentioned i got a flash drive? well i was trying to connect the key ring thingy to the flash drive. and it wouldnt go and it slipped off the flash drive and into the side of my finger (between the nail and the skin). and my nails are long right now and so i had to rush and cut the nail of my left thumb short while all this blood was spewing out. then i washed it and yeah! haha. like part of my hand is sore cuz of it--most especially my thumb. it took me like 5 minutes to put on my pants this morning cuz i couldn't use my thumb!! haha. praise God for thumbs! *smiles and gives a thumbs up!*

okay i gotta get to math hw. byee!

roca de orgullo

i'm standing on the top of pride rock--not the one from lion king! figuratively speaking, i meant that i'm just full of it. "it" being pride and not.. haha whatever

what establishes pride? where did we inherit pride from? how would one 'swallow pride'? how do you know if you're humble [cuz if you finally realize that you are and you're happy and gloat about it, then you're being prideful!]? someone please answer me..

english is really getting to me.. gahh.

everyone is sick in one way or another.. physically, spiritually, emotionally.. blech. i'm almost there. =/

what am i doing tonight? homework free.. kind of. just need to memorize some lines for my spanish oral presentation.

confirmation 1 is great. =)

ohh! and my parents bought me a flash drive today. =)

ohh! and if you didnt know, i got a haircut like a week and a half ago. haha k byee.

=D i've missed you!!! <33

2 hours and 10 minutes later..

x G e e P s x : sojourn sounds like a female dashboard
x G e e P s x : it makes me wanna yell
x G e e P s x : you are soo dashboard
x G e e P s x : im inspired

hahah! =)

gusto kong..

..matutong magdrive
(kahit na wala akong kotse)
gusto kong matutong magdrive
(kahit na walang lisensya)
- Eraserheads "Overdrive"

driving. it's been a hot topic in my household. my parents are allowing me to get my permit and stuff soon. they've even planned to get me a second hand Civic already. not only that, but they've planned on getting it repainted and stuff too.

man. i'm an expensive child. so expensive that i felt guilty about just wanting an acura TL [click] or a BMW M3 [click]. oh, hey, the acura exterior may look ugly but i'd really like the interior of the stick shift sedan. and the M3 is just hot.

Watching the sunset, sunset, sunset, sunset..
- Powderfinger "Sunsets"

driving west as the sun is setting = annoying. going home from spirit games was like that. although at times i teared due to the brightness, i stared at the sun more than half the drive back home. I couldn't help but sit in awe of the beauty which laid before my eyes.

many say that sunrises are better than sunsets because they mark the beginning of a new day, giving rays of hope to the hopeless, enlightening the lives living in the dark. whereas sunsets mark the end of the day, introducing the evening and the darkness it brings. i enjoy both. maybe i'd enjoy the sunrise better if i were ever awake to see it.. but anyway.. i would share my thoughts on why, but i'd rather not. i'd like to let it simmer in my head for a while.

--interuption: the sun is out!! yess! gahh. tired of the gloomy rain! made the day worse.

the laughs

i can laugh all day. i can crack jokes all day. i can try and make people laugh all day.

but i wonder.. if all that effort, all that energy spent, was worth it.. because i know that at the end of the day, by the time everyone gets back and hides behind a computer screen where it'd be useless to lie to the world about your true emotions.. many of the people i've shared laughs with, cracked jokes with, and had one of the funniest days of my life with are just not happy.

+EDIT+ 30 minutes later..
it seems that rain has come around.

summer is over and it ended too quickly.

i spent a good amount of time outside just now. staring up as a few raindrops fell, i felt a familiar stream trickle down the side of my face. as the vision of the night sky began to blur, i wondered why on earth did i feel so burdened when in all actuality, i have nothing to stress about.

is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of me?

time management

i hate school with a passion.. but ferrealz tho, that line's not a joke.

i managed my time this weekend. or at least i think so. spirit games and prayer meeting took up all day yesterday, but that was expected already. and even tho i was out of the house half of the day with my family, i got a bunch of homework done in like the last 3 hours, but i still have to do more. [specifically, 30 pages of outlining for env. sci.]

i'm hoping to help out with confirmation 1 with gp and jo. but i dunno if my parents will let me.

i think i'm helping out with Renew this season, but there shouldn't be much of a schedule conflict or anything cuz as far as i know, the times for that are during prayer meetings.

i'm a santa monica college student... haha. well not really, but i'm taking a personal development class that's being offered by them at my school. i wanna try and get another class, theatre, but i dunno if its too late to sign up cuz the classes start this week. and plus i dont wanna overburden myself with more homework. i'm already having a kinda hard time as it is.

hmm.. i should find out where the classes are being held.. haha.

k i gotta get started on that outline.

spirit games '05!!

praise God for the successful outcome! =)

i got dragged in grass which had chalk on it. i kinda got wet with some not-so-clean water. i sweated like mug. bugs bit me [but i dont have signs of those nasty "bug bites" yet]. i feel like i got sunburnt on the nose. i got a sunglasses tan.
but it was all worth it!! =D

i love my family. =) that means i love you! cuz through Christ, you're part of my family!!! =D

good job on the talk, cheska!

fantabulous props to the spirit games comittee and most especially the heads: gene, jon, courtney!!

great praise&worship-ing, LF and especially the worship leaders: andrew, nette, and cheska!

unmentioned but should've-been-mentioned moments

haha. k, i'm sitting here trying to do my observation paper for english and i think i actually know how to do this one. i just need to support it properly or whatever. anyway, that's not the point. i was thinking about it and i dont know how, but a whole bunch of stuff that i've been meaning to blog about just popped into my head.

#1
okay so like before the program started for lindsay's debut, the photographers wanted her to take pictures with the court and whatnot after she took solo shots. haha so we went on this field and it was MUDDY LIKE HECK! dude, i am not exaggerating! i was wearing like what.. 3-4 inch, butt-skinny, gold stilettos and with my fat self, the heels of my shoes started sinking into the mud. we decided to take a funny picture and jolly wanted to carry a guy, which ended up being oswynn. so she carried oswynn and then when he got off, he kicked the side of the bottom of my dress and mannn that was soo not cool. haha. we took pictures on cemented ground and oswynn ran inside to get tissue. he comes back when the guys are taking solo shots with lindsay and he tries to wipe the mud off. then andrew comes out of no where with some tissue oswynn brought and picks up my foot and starts cleaning off the heels of my shoes. i hear jolly and melissa say something like "damn. she got boys waiting on her, hand and foot!" or something like that. and then i smiled and said to myself, "deng... i love these LF boys! =D" hahaha!

#2
we were training for LSS. it was like a week before and we had a meeting. it was very emotional and i was hella crying man. people were hugging me and stuff and i just kept crying. then don hugged me from behind and then he wipes the tears off my face [which was kinda useless cuz it made me cry more] and it was so sweet of him to do that!

#3
this won't be a long one, cuz this guy does it so often so i cant really recall a specific occasion to tell this one. but gene is one cool guy. why? cuz he opens the doors for you when you ride in his car!! haha. so gentlemanly.. you dont find that in a lot of guys!

#4
[i dunno if i mentioned this one yet, but if i did, just skip it!] i was shopping for a dress in LA with lindsay and gene and andrew came. i was taking a long time.. changing, trying on clothes, bargaining.. haha. this lady comes up and says something like, "wow! you boys have a lot of patience to be here. you dont see many guys waiting around like you!" haha.

#5
geeps is just crazee. haha. he drives me around everywhere and we scream in his cars and make up stupid songs about people which we use to seranade them with. hahaha!

#6
lets talk about some LF ladies, shall we? haha.. wait, there's too much to say! but i love you all cuz you are my family even if you didnt like anyone in my family or none of my family members liked you romantically.. hahaha. i have soooo many memories with y'all that it's impossible to pick out one to blog about! haha. how bout you blog one for me? =D complete the sentence: "remember when.." =P

#7
off to the cool kids of school we go! =D haha! ladies, you guys are an awesome bunch, you know that? you guys continue to inspire me to work harder and whatnot and be someone who's so much better off. i'm sorry i cant always be there for you, but you guys are family too. although i've never really met any of your family members and i'm sure you havent met mine, we've been there for each other, especially for the little things like homework, and i'd like to say thanks!!! and i promise that i will always at least try to be there for you if you need me, so just hollah at yo girl!

#8
wait back to oswynn! haha. cuz we were at the renew meeting to be trained as facilitators and i drank coffee. and we were just talking about coffee and school and whatever and when he got up, he got me a cup of water. haha. i mean its not much, but its sweet. hahaha.

haha okay this is long. i gotta get back to my paper.

poot!

that's the sound you'd hear if a boba came out of your nose.. haha! or at least thats what i proposed on January 10, 2004 after the Santo Nino event while at tapicoa express. haha. and "big itch" was a popular term back then too. hahah. man i was stupid!! haha heck i still am! =D

my spansh teacher, whom i just had 3rd, is my sub for 5th. that's 4 hours with one teacher. haha. so i figured i might as well do spanish homework while she's here to help.. haha.

i was gonna start on my english hw.. the crq's, SOAPSTone, and the observation paper.. etc. but i realized i left all my english stuff at home so i cant work with anything.

i got my first observation paper back. haha. i was suppose to write about the diction, denotation and connotation and whatnot.. haha. but i didnt know i was. haha. but i still got credit and the teacher said that what i wrote was way beyond and totally off of what was being asked. haha.

been crackin my knuckles a lot. starting to wonder how much damage this is really gonna cause my hands when i'm old. haha.

k i gotta get started on some hw and maybe take a nap or something. =)

Sojourn

click the "Purevolume" link on the right and you can hear how the song turned out. lyrics are here.

and hey, it might be crappy.. if you really listen, you'll hear that some harmonies are flat, some are sharp, some parts sound distorted cuz i was too loud, at one point i think i breathe into the mic.. but you know what? i'm pretty darn proud of what i already made.

as the summer nights die away,
i can say i had the time of my life.

until next year, summer.. farewell.

Praise God.

+EDIT+
from 2:25 point of the song until the end has probably got to be one of my best work.. i know i sound all conceited but dude, recording the melody, harmonies, the melody and incorporating it with guitar playing is not an easy thing for an amature!!

randomness in 5th

i am so sleepy. its weird how i can never really sleep in front of a computer. now matter how tired or sleepy i am, i'm still awake if i'm in front of a computer.

its sad how i cant say that when i'm in front of a teacher or during class cuz man.. i be fallin asleep in classes like crazee sometimes.

i'm probably gonna end up visiting ucsc and ucb and san fransisco. i've discussed it with my parents and they know that $275 [that's with hotel fee, air fare, and bus fare] for a trip is too good of a deal to put off. and besides, it has an educational purpose. hopefully i get to go.

i'm gonna go get my councelor to sign the forms for afterschool classes afterschool. i just hope my dad waits for me.

ouch. i just cracked all my knuckles in a weird, loud, and kinda painful way. i should really stop cuz i'm gonna get really bad arthritis when i grow old.. and that would bite cuz then i wouldn't be able to play guitar nicely.

oh, so i finished the song i've been working on for the past month or so. i have yet to designate a title for it. some potential titles: "an impermanent situation", "sojourn", "dying summer". i think i'm gonna have some free time later so i might be able to record it and post it up on myspace or purevolume or something.

i think i should go and take a quick nap in this class so that i dont fall asleep in history. haha. good bye.

end of the school day

so its like 2:45 right now. a couple more minutes and i'm out. yipee.

i did some of my english homework while in this computer class. now, i gotta take care of math, some more env. sci hw, and other english hw.. gahh.

so i dont think i'm gonna drop environmental science anymore. i have no other class to replace it with and if i do change it, my schedule might get all jacked up. plus, i'm kinda enjoying the class.. i've made friends. haha.

k i gotta go shut down the computer. haha k bye.

SSR

Sustained Silent Reading.. haha.

i have to read for around 20 minutes during 5th period [intro to comp]. i decided to read my old blog entries from my blurty. haha man those were the days..

i'm listening to yellowcard and it reminds me a lot of last summer.

oh, how i miss summer! haha. gosh darn it..

so i think i should so some type of homework while i'm in this class. maybe current events for history which isn't due til later? maybe type up some stuff for english or whatnot. who knows.. haha.

i bet ya i'll end up online window shopping or something. haha. ttyl.

2hours

i just spent about 2 hours trying to figure out what was wrong with my computer/internet. i discovered it was the router. i now have internet again.

it would've been weird to not have the internet for a day. its an important thing in my life.. ha.

elsewhere

i had a talk with my parents today. yepp.

cousins and their kids stopped by after they came from disneyland. man, i missed those people.

i'm probably gonna end up taking driver's ed soon.. i dont think i'm going to philippines this christmas. =/

prayer meeting was kinda empty until everyone came after. it was odd to see like half the youth missing.

i've never felt so distant.

byee.

booty.

i forgot my greeters ministry folder.. =/

4 minutes til the bell rings then i'm heading out to 6th period. *sarcastically* history.. wahoo..

so i spent like a good 20 minutes looking at clothes on the hollister and abercrombie and fitch sites. good stuff. clearance is up, but they're still not cheap.

the girl in front of me is myspaceing. i'm jealous cuz myspace has been blocked from my computer and i dunno how the hell she's on it.. haha. oh well.

i should get off now and stop the cd and clean up my ear phones.. its all i do in class. spend like 10 minutes working and the rest is surfing and the teacher is cool with it. haha. k off i go! byee!

emily rose.. =)

finished!!

with what? my spanish personal page thingy for my spanish notebook. =)

i have one part of english to do and its to talk about tone and its kinda hard for me cuz the teacher didnt really give much instruction. "write about the tone." haha.

i should sleep. my dad's gonna wake up for work soon and if he sees that i'm up, he gonna get madddd.

hahaha. i'm delirious! whomp whomp whomp. i'm scared i might fall asleep during 6th.. oh well! just dont get caught, right? haha man.. i have a bad school mentality. k byee!

much needed

5th period is a much needed class for me. at the end of the day, i'm here and i can relax. i'm listening to my own cds, i'm blogging, i'm ahead, and i still do my work. great stuff.

i lost 10 easy points in spanish cuz i didnt bring a spanish/english dictionary. it hella pissed me off.

4th period, english, is starting to get a little more complex. i'm okay with it. complexity can be good.. like change.. [sarcastically] ha!

its like the 3rd day of school and i've taken like so many quizes and whatnot already.

i dont think i'm gonna be able to change my classes. we'll see.. depending on what happens afterschool. if not, then i'm glad i get to keep this class cuz it really gives me a break and takes me away from all the madness of school even tho i'm still in school. it feels good.

i should get back to typing the numbers... ha.

HURRICANE RELIEF CHARITY EVENT

Hosted By: Noel de Castro
When: Friday Sep 09, 2005
at 9:30 PM
Where: GARDEN OF EDEN
7080 Hollywood Blvd.
HOLLYWOOD, CA 90028
US
Description:
To help out the victims of Katrina who are in need of help.

Note: You MUST be 21 or over; if not, help out and pass it along. Its for a good cause.

Click Here To View Event

money, money, money..

"show me the money!!"

if you told me that, i would. and i would gladly give you some if you really need it. but i cant. cuz i dont have the money. hardly anyone does.

mo money, mo money, mo money.. its all americans think about. did ya notice? but they really cant be held responsible for thinking of it. everyday, things like gas prices get more and more expensive. it's almost near impossible to not think about it.

with the war on terrorism that's still going on, with the loads of damages katrina caused, and with all the controversial issues like the legalizing of same-sex marriages, its hard not to worry about america's social and economic status. i mean if we dont put an end or even try to refine our ways of living, sooner or later, america's gonna go through another "great depression" era.

people are blaming bush. even kanye west pointed fingers.

"if the new orleans majority were white, would the government have acted quicker upon rescuing and helping the citizens?"
it's really got me thinking. i asked my dad for his opinion yesterday. he said something like: "just because black people don't get help right away, many of them and the media claim it to be a racial matter. it probably isn't, but somehow, it's what people start to think and things just get worse."

blah. i dont even know why i blogged about this. i dont even know if i made sense. i'm broke and its my dad's birthday today.

sleepy

i decided not to take a nap afterschool. i forced myself to do homework and i finished before 5.. weird, eh? but i liked it. i feel like i really will sleep early tonight cuz i have nothing to do except stay up and i dont have the energy to do that.

school is fine. at times, i hate it with a passion and other times i love it. what can i say? its a love and hate thing.. haha. isnt it?

i need to find an available psychology class or physiology class or something that's available for first so i can get out of environmental science.

i dont know what i'm blogging about

kick back class

so far, my day has gone good. i finished my essay like at 2:30am and slept around 3. i woke up like 6 and got up ant 6:30 and showered and what not. got into school like 7:25 and yeah.

i'm in 5th period right now. it's intro to comp A. i'm only taking it cuz [1] i need a chill class for the semester [2] i wanna find out how i to do powerpoint and excel and all that microsoft stuff so that if i do eventually get it to work on my computer, i'll know how to use it. its an easy class. the first 6-7 weeks, says the teacher, will be typing. he said if we think we're advanced to take a test and i passed it. i type 64 words per minutes. i'm gonna end up working the numbers of the keyboard for the next week or so and then once i pass that, i'm gonna do some other stuff.. or so he says. but bascially, i'm teaching myself in this class but i have a teacher who provides programs and tests and all that stuff.

k gtg. time for 6th period!! =D

and so the end is near..

..and now i face the final curtain.

summer is officially over for me. praise God? of course. praise God for allowing this summer to be great as can be. i will extremely miss seeing LFers 7 days out of the week [except maybe andrew tho, probably cuz i'll still see him practically everyday].

lindsay's debut is over. =) praise God. i dunno if it turned out the way she wanted it, but it looked like everyone had a wonderful time. there was great food, the waltz was whack, the hiphop/modern with mixed in swing and salsa was awesome, and there were one of the best crowd of people ever: friends and family.
thank you Lord, for allowing me to be able to experience this event with such great people.

i'm not sure if it was one, but we went to the evangelista's for an after party. we ate the left over food and whatnot and joked and talked and a bunch of us slept there. =) and surprisingly, none of our parents are really that mad (well, my parents havent really said much to me, but we'll see). so i slept upstairs in the loft/living room after the couches and the floor were all pretty much taken downstairs--cheska, may i have copies of the pictures you took?? haha. i mean it sounds lonely but man, i was sleepy! for goodness sake, it was past 5am when i slept.. probably almost around 5:30. haha.

i woke up to a phone call at 8am from my mom and then i showered, took a trip to the 7-11 down the street, ate as all the kids started waking up, watched a couple movies and then went home around 1pm. 22 hours--almost 23--of not being home and not being at a church event. =)

i tried doing my essay after i got home. after 30 minutes into brainstorming and the first sentence, i stopped and caught up on sleep on accident. haha. i was laying in bed and i just knocked out. fell asleep at around 2:30 and woke up like 4:30 and woke up with an idea for the essay. but i really dont wanna do it yet cuz i have a LOT of things going on in my head and its really hot and i wanna go out. haha.

byee.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day. "
- excerpt from Alexander Pope's "Eloisa to Abelard"

it reminded me of Mama Mary. i havent done research on it and i'm too tired to do some.. Good morning!

later on today: san diego
later on tonight: evangelista's house [maybe?]
tomorrow: lindsay's debut!!

geesh man!

i've spent around an hour or two each night for the past two nights trying to get microsoft office to work on my computer. but its still not working. blahhh. stupid product keys..

my mom was watching shows online until like what.. midnight? i started working on lindsay's slideshow at 12:30 and finished at like 5:20. i dont even know if all the pictures are good because its a 19 minute slideshow and i was too sleepy to check it.

i wake up today to find three loud boys yelling in my house, two of which i'm not related to. my mom's saying "dont wear your heels!! you're gonna get more leg muscles!!" and i really dont give a damn about the shape of my legs.

she goes "get home early tomorrow. 9pm." i say "i cant. debut practice is at 8:30.. its after music ministry." she says "you're always there! i bet you all those other people dont even show up! its your turn to miss practice." i go "i'm already going to san diego all on saturday and missing that practice! that's the one i HAVE to go to cuz its the day before the debut!" she starts talking all this stuff and i walked away before anything else happened..

blah. i dont know why i'm getting so worked up..

whatever. if i go home early its not like i'll sleep early..

eh?

sarcasm is everywhere. its hard to tell if its the real thing or not. i hate it with a passion.

when you know you're unintentionally bugging someone really badly but they still choose to stay quiet about the situation you tried to be honest in.. when they give you this weird look saying "shut up" or "get away" without trying to make it noticable.. when all their close friends are giving you a look saying "is this for real?" because you're trying to make an effort to kill the awkwardness between the two of you.. when you know that if you try and keep going to see what's wrong, that things are gonna get worse.. thats when people bug me the most.

yeppp.