Aswang

My mom called me an aswang. Haha. She told my dad to call my sister like 5 minutes ago, and he was like "She might be sleeping already..." I go, "No, she's not." My mom goes, "Yeah, they're like aswangs, in the morning, they sleep and at night, they're awake..."

Played tennis and basketball earlier tonight. Felt nice to burn some calories and whatnot. Maybe I can do it every other week or something to get some exercise. Haha.

Next weekend. Can't Wait! =)

TMI = Too Much Information

Knowing too much can be harmful to oneself.

I need a day when I benefit from serendipities.

Staying out/staying in with people til past 12 + random jam sessions after music minsitry practice = summer mode.

AP tests the next two weeks. Whoopie...

Watched some clips of "Yo Momma" off of Youtube. =) cash moneyyy. "Yo momma is so fat that she had to Fedex her food to her stomach."

"Maybe somewhere else
Will not be half as cold as me
The curtains drawn the winter sun
Makes patterns on your face
It looks like some kaleidoscopic breathing exercise
It's the same
It's the same
It's the same
Baby wont you breathe
Baby wont you breathe

Hold me in your freezin' arms
Before we have to go
I wince a little, but it's not because I know the truth
The windshield of your little car is frosted through the glass
A clear heart of air appears as we shiver on the seats"
"Same" by Snow Patrol

Things just aren't the same.

It's a very, very mad world.

"Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world"

Good song. Heard it today after a long time. Reminds me of summer. I miss it.

Summer, where are you? Take me away already. Let's beach it up, work it down, get skinny and chill. I'm ready, damn it.

School's been... school. I need to get my act together. It's funny how I've said that for the umpteenth time, yet I've probably only done it a few times here and there... really bad stuff.

Don't irritate me. I'm not on my good side. Hah.

Say you love me...

"Don't you know that I want to be
More than just your friend
Holding hands is fine
But I've got better things on my mind
You know it could happen
If you'd only see me in a different light
Baby when we fin'lly get together
You will see that I was right

Say you love me
You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
Don't treat me like I was ice
Please love me
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
If you'd only say you love me baby
Things would really work out fine"
"Say You Love Me" - MYMP

I played "Rock, Paper, Scissors" today. =) Fun times.

Getting to know people is a great thing.

Procrastination is part of the thought process of creative writing. Haha.

--> "i quit school. quit with me?"
I replied, "definitely."
What I really meant: "In a freekin heartbeat!"

Cussin' it out.

Seriously! Cursing is everywhere!! Haha. I honestly find it funny now days. Somewhat shocking, but hilarious.

"hell, who would've thought i would've grown balls to be talking to you like this again? or that i even had any to try and talk to you guys again through myspace and whatnot? i never would've even thought i'd have enough patience to wait things out..."

--"hi nez. i know..."

Haha. Rewards.

No matter what, I WEAR YOU. Don't ever forget that. Things can get dirty, but that's why we wash things off and wait til things get dry to start over. (You know who you are.)

Haha. I'm talking laundry. Only because I did it for the second time in my life. Hahah! I miss my mom. =)


+EDIT+ 11:57pm

"One of the sad facts of life is that the older we get, the more tightly wound we become. Having to untangle that web of self-deception, lies, facades...whatever kinds of barriers we put up...it always makes things more complicated than it should be. Unfortunately, getting to this point is almost inevitable. Life teaches you the hard way about wearing your heart on your sleeve, but although it's the hard way, it really is the best way. As blissful as it might be to pour your heart out so carelessly, not knowing any better, there's something about the struggles of romance that makes it just that much more sweeter. It's a shame, though, that sometimes we have to fall apart in the process." - JR

I wonder if he knows I read it. Haha.

Sundayyy.

So much homework to do. Gahh.

Tonight/today was well needed. I missed it. All of it. Really.

Cursing seems to be the thing lately. Hahah. "Joke Only!"

Sunday is one of the best and worst days of the week.
Good reasons: day for mass; waking up knowing your weekend is still going; knowing that later you'll get to watch awesome shows like Grey's Anatomy.
Bad reasons: day (well, this is for me) to clean; falling asleep knowing your weekend will end; knowing that as much as you want to watch awesome shows, you have so much homework.

I hate school with a passion.

weee!

I brought home three guys with me. Only my dad and brother are home with me and I brought Oswynn, Don and Andrew. Haha. And it was like 10:15 already. And I'm a bad hostess cuz I didn't offer them anything and I left them alone for a good 15 minutes.. haha!

Ambiguity and Curiosity

Two major factors which contribute to the tsismis. Two major factors which leads to secrets, lies and even deeper sins. Two major factors which ultimately makes my life a living hell. Hmm, okay, okay... that was too strong of a statement, but I don't really mean it. It's just a little hectic right now.

My brother asked me for my opinion about a glass which can either be seen as half empty and or half full. I told him that it was half full, and he was glad I said it. My brother's growing up. He's learning. I'm really greatful to be around to see it.

Life is a glass and our experiences are the liquids placed within it. We fill the glass with many things, but the thing we pour may not always be clear as a crystal, it may not always be clean and pure, it may not always sparkle or twinkle when we look at it. But no matter what, it's there and it can always be seen as either half full or half empty. It's up to us to decide how life is to be viewed.

Despite all the crap that's been in my cup, its half full.

I want an ukulele, damn it.

This post took a while...

untitled

There are a lot of things I don't understand
Where do we stand? Where do we stand?
Together, we're strong; Separated, I'm weak.
I'll never really know how much havoc can be wreaked
When loving someone so deeply and insanely
And declaring them as your one and only

Amazing, magnificent, first and last, sublime,
Breathtaking, heart-stirring, true love.
Its what you are to me: My love

God is hilarious

And I mean that with utmost respect. He has a really great sense of humor. The way he sets up situations for you in order to gain new strength is really funny--at least I think so. The sad part is that we can only laugh about it after it's all done and over with, but not when it's happening.

I've been listening to MYMP a lot lately. Learned a lot of their songs in the past couple of months. Really talented kids.

If you try to give up something which wasn't really yours in the first place, meaning if you attempt to give up a desire of yours, it's still a sacrifice, right??

Kids. They put a smile on my face. =)

I like how when adults from Philippines come, they act like I don't really know Tagalog and they make an effort to communicate in English. It's the cutest thing. Haha.

I want THAT.

The dance floor is a totally different world where you don't communicate with your voice, but with your body. Although at times, when trying to teach others how to dance this or that or just wanna catch up on old times, you may talk to another person, but mostly your body does the talking. You get mixed into a crowd, half of it consists of friends and the other, strangers, but as one group, you are all there just feeling the music and expressing yourself.

No one knows you the way I do...
No one will ever know you the way I do...
No one will ever treat you the way I do...
No one will ever miss your crazy a** the way I do...
No one will ever do the things I do for and with you...
No one will ever do those things the way I do...
WE NEED TO TALK.
And you freakin' know it.

BTW, that goes to more than one person out there.

I want a debut, but I don't. If you knew what was running in my mind, you'd know why. But thoughts are speeding through, I can't even figure out what they are...

No offense but...

...damn.

And that's all that needs to be said. Hah.

Early Happy Easter!

Spring Break '06

Env. Sci
- Study for Ch. 17 & 18 Exam
- Concept map (ch. 17)
- Short answer responses [nuclear energy; calculating energy use]

Math
- extra credit
- classwork
- finish investigations?

Spanish
- Buy "La Opinion" (Easter Sunday Edition)
- Ad from Vocab
- Vocab/T-chart
- 6 paragraphs

English
- 20-page creative writing assignment
- AP terms/flash cards

History
- Cornell Ch. 14 & 15
- Special Concepts
- Study Guide
- Movie Review

Philosophy
- Read "Siddartha" and respond to five blurties.
- 3 other blurties on gender
- Gender papers [males (500 words); females (500 words); personal experience (750 words)]

Okay, so honestly, before I left school, this list didn't seem that long... or it was, but I really thought I would at least have one of those things completely finished by NOW.

It's the morning of Holy Thursday and so far, I've got all the ideas planned out for that 20-page writing assignment and already have 5 done. I've read 4 pages of Siddhartha and there are around 81. Everything else, I've only thought about.. haha.

Aside from homework, what else is on the adgenda? SPYM is singing for tonight's mass. I'll be going to the Good Friday celebration. Roxsan's debut is on Saturday night. Easter Sunday, SPYM will be singing again. I should add in cooking and cleaning, making sure my brother has a ride to his baseball practices AND staying at the park to watch/wait for him.

God is Good. And I am not. That is why I'm behind on work. Hah.

Let's go already.

Let's go to college. Let's open those letters of acceptance, feel disappointed or exuberant, and pick a college. Let's walk the stage and say our last and final word(s) to people--the ones we shared our lives with for nearly 4 year--whom, from that day and on we'll never see again (unless of course, we happen to keep in touch with them through Myspace); "Congratulations!" Let's get out of this town and face a whole new world full of strangers, lovers, enemies, and friends. Let's go. Now.

I'd rather face that fear of never seeing anyone from high school now more than ever. Hell, I already don't talk to half the friends I've made in the past two and a half years of high school--we might as well say our good-bye's now. Not "see you later"; not "see you tomorrow"; not "I'll see you around"; "Good-bye".

ONE more freekin' night of homework for Spring Break. ONE more freekin' day of school. Just ONE.

But I don't know how well I'll be able to handle it. I lost my head yesterday. I broke down to a person whom I hardly know. How much more would I weep, sob and try to hide when in front of someone I still deeply care for, miss, and can't even share a minute-long conversation with. I loathe Fridays. Maybe even more than the distraction-filled Sundays.

Happy Birthday, Andy. Sorry to have greeted you so late, babe. I'll be there Saturday--promise; I wouldn't miss your party for the world. One year older. Time flies by so fast. I miss you already... And to think, I only held you hours ago...

THANK GOD.

Girl vs. Girl

Lots of conflicts and fights have been going on. Preventable, but as humans, we chose to act when in the heat of our passion and sin. Lord, please help us. Help me...

"Every girl has that one girlfriend who hurt them the most..." - philosophy class

Something like that. I'm not quite sure what Leibner really said, but it was around those terms. And THAT was when my afternoon wen't downhill.

YOU have no idea how much I miss you, nor how I'll always be missing you. YOU'll never know how much pain is felt, to have you so close to me while your mind and your heart is elsewhere. I don't know how I can see you almost everyday, stand up straight, smile and laugh, and pretend like nothing even happened, but I do it. Why? Because I don't know what else to do. I'm THAT lost.

Thanks.