To act like "nothing" happened, to feel as if I feel fine or normal--maybe even cheerful--and to think and feel something about how "nothing" happened. It's a thing I do exceptionally well.
All afternoon, all evening, I've sat around thinking about today.
"The [person] I came to know is a completely different [person] you all knew or know of." Pat & Oscars surely was memorable.
My arbitrary actions drive me insane. I'm not sure what'll wear me out first: that or my outrageously curious mind.
Happy Fat Tuesday. It was truly a (physically) fat day.
Early Happy Ash Wednesday to you all. If you're oging to 6:30am mass, I'll probably see you there.
Hello, Lent!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Good times..
"Let the good times roll!"
Good times indeed. Two years, man. Two long, funny, amazing and bitter years and still going. Praise God for friendships. =) "ismile4uc"
Cleaning isn't over yet. Loads of things to sort out but the rooms turned out nice. I guess some changes aren't so bad.
It's funny. One side of my room is completely messy and the other looks neat as heck. =D
So what is there to do? Myspace for a while? Sleep? Maybe both. Good night!
+EDIT+
Heart Evangelista is cool. But Toni Gonzaga is better--or at least I think so. Heart is still my idol, in a way, but Toni is a higher ranking idol for me. Haha. Sam Milby isn't so bad either. He gets credit for effort. =)
there is nothing more complicated than love.
denial is a game we shoudn't play
it's hard for me when im trying to forget
is what we had something that i should regret?
feelings that will not just go away
cause ive fallen in love with you
denial is a game we shouldnt play
accept the truth and hope the pain goes away
i know this pain is so hard to bear
but i can make it through. i know i can
love makes me deny what i feel deep down inside
cause ive fallen in love with you
Good times indeed. Two years, man. Two long, funny, amazing and bitter years and still going. Praise God for friendships. =) "ismile4uc"
Cleaning isn't over yet. Loads of things to sort out but the rooms turned out nice. I guess some changes aren't so bad.
It's funny. One side of my room is completely messy and the other looks neat as heck. =D
So what is there to do? Myspace for a while? Sleep? Maybe both. Good night!
+EDIT+
Heart Evangelista is cool. But Toni Gonzaga is better--or at least I think so. Heart is still my idol, in a way, but Toni is a higher ranking idol for me. Haha. Sam Milby isn't so bad either. He gets credit for effort. =)
there is nothing more complicated than love.
denial is a game we shoudn't play
it's hard for me when im trying to forget
is what we had something that i should regret?
feelings that will not just go away
cause ive fallen in love with you
denial is a game we shouldnt play
accept the truth and hope the pain goes away
i know this pain is so hard to bear
but i can make it through. i know i can
love makes me deny what i feel deep down inside
cause ive fallen in love with you
Friday, February 24, 2006
Cleaning up!
"I see you running through a fence." Ya gotta love that Philosophy class. =) Making new memories with old friends is a blessing.
My parents bought a new mattress. Their old mattress goes to my room and for it to fit, I will have to rearrange the other furniture.. All this moving around and whatnot means the annual "Spring Cleaning" is pretty much set for this weekend. *sigh* This is a lot of work cuz I think that right now, my room is probably at it's messiest state (just because there are too many papers lying around).
Speaking of cleaning up, I have to clean myself up, as in get organized and stay on task.
Anyway, today I was... moody. Haha. I couldn't help but go with the flow... if you know what I mean.
Yesterday, I was at the doctor's office (because I'm sick--again) and I saw this weird poster. It led me to ask my dad, "Why don't guys get periods? They should..." and my dad answers, "Because we have exclamation marks!" My daddy's weird. =D
To be able to see you and talk to you but not converse with you is a blessing and a curse.
Priase God!
+EDIT+ 11:25pm
It's official: I consider Heart Evangelista as one of my idols.
My parents bought a new mattress. Their old mattress goes to my room and for it to fit, I will have to rearrange the other furniture.. All this moving around and whatnot means the annual "Spring Cleaning" is pretty much set for this weekend. *sigh* This is a lot of work cuz I think that right now, my room is probably at it's messiest state (just because there are too many papers lying around).
Speaking of cleaning up, I have to clean myself up, as in get organized and stay on task.
Anyway, today I was... moody. Haha. I couldn't help but go with the flow... if you know what I mean.
Yesterday, I was at the doctor's office (because I'm sick--again) and I saw this weird poster. It led me to ask my dad, "Why don't guys get periods? They should..." and my dad answers, "Because we have exclamation marks!" My daddy's weird. =D
To be able to see you and talk to you but not converse with you is a blessing and a curse.
Priase God!
+EDIT+ 11:25pm
It's official: I consider Heart Evangelista as one of my idols.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Wander
My mind has been wandering a lot lately. Thank goodness for this three-day weekends, or else I would've been screwed. I don't think I'd be able to handle all these thoughts during a regular school day.
Have you ever planned something--a particular event in which you've thought of every single detail there is to think about--while knowing that there's a one in a million chance it'll ever come true? I'm quite the day dreamer. I've done it a million times. I should really stop.
There are a lot of risks and decisions to make when loving someone--when loving anyone.
Discipline is something I seriously lack.
Lord, help me.
Have you ever planned something--a particular event in which you've thought of every single detail there is to think about--while knowing that there's a one in a million chance it'll ever come true? I'm quite the day dreamer. I've done it a million times. I should really stop.
There are a lot of risks and decisions to make when loving someone--when loving anyone.
Discipline is something I seriously lack.
Lord, help me.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
"She is" by Gabe Bondoc
"She's the sun in my sky.
No, I swear, I wont shine without her.
In the light of the mood, I can't help but swoon.
There's something about her.
Forgive me if I go on and on about her charms,
Something about her, I don't know"
That song reminds me of Mother Mary. =)
I admire Gabe Bondoc. That's a very well-written song. Boy got some mad skillz, yo! =P
Brother Bo Sanchez is tizzight to the max!
K, gotta get to sleeping because I'm going to help sing for tomorrow's mass.
No, I swear, I wont shine without her.
In the light of the mood, I can't help but swoon.
There's something about her.
Forgive me if I go on and on about her charms,
Something about her, I don't know"
That song reminds me of Mother Mary. =)
I admire Gabe Bondoc. That's a very well-written song. Boy got some mad skillz, yo! =P
Brother Bo Sanchez is tizzight to the max!
K, gotta get to sleeping because I'm going to help sing for tomorrow's mass.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Today, I learned...
...Columbus was like an early version of Hitler, to take the risks in life, that the risks you take are always rewarded, mixed cultures are interesting and so much more in philosophy class.
...a $675 trip to New York (that includes airfare, hotel, subway passes, a play, entrance to the Museum of Modern Art, and 2 fully paid for dinners) is a REALLY good deal which I can't afford to pay for. =/
...relationships of any type are hectic.
...how to write a fair, five-paragraphed, 1 and a half paged essay in 45 minutes.
...that I cry when I'm asked about things relating to a self-examination type of thing. Questions like "What do you think of yourself?" in a deeper form really get to me.
...Writing a majority of a 1000-word paper after 1am can work out well if you really try.
...I should really get some rest.
PS: Who has the book, "The art of Public Speaking"? What about "The Struggle for Democracy 6th Edition"? I need them for classes and I really don't want to pay for it.
...a $675 trip to New York (that includes airfare, hotel, subway passes, a play, entrance to the Museum of Modern Art, and 2 fully paid for dinners) is a REALLY good deal which I can't afford to pay for. =/
...relationships of any type are hectic.
...how to write a fair, five-paragraphed, 1 and a half paged essay in 45 minutes.
...that I cry when I'm asked about things relating to a self-examination type of thing. Questions like "What do you think of yourself?" in a deeper form really get to me.
...Writing a majority of a 1000-word paper after 1am can work out well if you really try.
...I should really get some rest.
PS: Who has the book, "The art of Public Speaking"? What about "The Struggle for Democracy 6th Edition"? I need them for classes and I really don't want to pay for it.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy, indeed.
One of the best Valentine's Day yet. I don't know what made it "happy"--maybe it was the flower or the elementary-school Valentine's day cards or all the text and calls from family members--but it was a LOT different compared to last year. =)
I think it's funny that I smile in front of not-so-close people even when I'm angry or feel like bursting out in tears. Haha.
Winter Olympics are awesome. Makes me want to learn how to really snowboard and ice skate and play hockey and smash someone into the glass of the ice rink.. mwahaha. Joke lang!
It's almost spring. Let's just play tackle football. =D
My dad thinks Cheney should resign from his position. I still wonder how you shoot a person instead of a bird...
Did you know Del Amo Fashion Center is going to have Urban Outfitters and Anthropologies as stores and an AMC 18 by this summer? Wee! =D Now I need moneyyy cuz I really want this one redwing jacket. Ooo-wee, it's hottt.
Let's go to the city.
I think it's funny that I smile in front of not-so-close people even when I'm angry or feel like bursting out in tears. Haha.
Winter Olympics are awesome. Makes me want to learn how to really snowboard and ice skate and play hockey and smash someone into the glass of the ice rink.. mwahaha. Joke lang!
It's almost spring. Let's just play tackle football. =D
My dad thinks Cheney should resign from his position. I still wonder how you shoot a person instead of a bird...
Did you know Del Amo Fashion Center is going to have Urban Outfitters and Anthropologies as stores and an AMC 18 by this summer? Wee! =D Now I need moneyyy cuz I really want this one redwing jacket. Ooo-wee, it's hottt.
Let's go to the city.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Who reads this?
As long as I have this, I don't think I'll ever stop asking that.
I lost me. I can't write songs or papers the way I want to. I can't think, speak, or act the way I want to. I can't be who I want to be.
Yeah, I'm selfish. Me, me, me.
My montra, for the time being: dreams are not reality. Sure, they can come true from time to time, but it's not always meant to be. They're just... dreams.
Michelle Kwan. She's my hero. She said that leaving was probably one of the hardest decision she's ever made, but the right one. Her dream of winning the gold at the Winter Olympics will probably never happen, but she said, "It's okay."
"It's okay." That's what I have to keep telling myself. But should I? If I continue, I'd just be lying to myself. Yes, life is good. It's a blessing. No doubt about that. But am I 'good' enough for life?
I lost me. I can't write songs or papers the way I want to. I can't think, speak, or act the way I want to. I can't be who I want to be.
Yeah, I'm selfish. Me, me, me.
My montra, for the time being: dreams are not reality. Sure, they can come true from time to time, but it's not always meant to be. They're just... dreams.
Michelle Kwan. She's my hero. She said that leaving was probably one of the hardest decision she's ever made, but the right one. Her dream of winning the gold at the Winter Olympics will probably never happen, but she said, "It's okay."
"It's okay." That's what I have to keep telling myself. But should I? If I continue, I'd just be lying to myself. Yes, life is good. It's a blessing. No doubt about that. But am I 'good' enough for life?
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Classes
And so the week ends. I swear, it's been the longest week everrr. Despite having only 4 days of school this week, it seemed like 8. I don't understand how people can go on having all classes everyday instead of block schedule.
Next week is a whole new chapter of my life. It's called, "I hope I don't screw up, but I know I probably will: Part 3504894351786403186". Have a final paper due next friday, I know I'm bound to have at least another essay, a proficiency test for PoliSci, and if I pass it, I'll have PoliSci every Tuesday and Thursday and Speech every Monday and Wednesday until 4:30pm.
Something I noticed is that once I start something, I usually stick with it. Not once have I checked out or switched classes. So that means that no matter how much I will end up wanting to check out of one of those two classes, I probably won't. =/
Reminder: get SATII fee waiver and PSAT test results and ask where Speech class is being held at.
It's the elements... =)
Next week is a whole new chapter of my life. It's called, "I hope I don't screw up, but I know I probably will: Part 3504894351786403186". Have a final paper due next friday, I know I'm bound to have at least another essay, a proficiency test for PoliSci, and if I pass it, I'll have PoliSci every Tuesday and Thursday and Speech every Monday and Wednesday until 4:30pm.
Something I noticed is that once I start something, I usually stick with it. Not once have I checked out or switched classes. So that means that no matter how much I will end up wanting to check out of one of those two classes, I probably won't. =/
Reminder: get SATII fee waiver and PSAT test results and ask where Speech class is being held at.
It's the elements... =)
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
New semester, New struggles
I'm excited for the class I know I'm going to get worked with major English homework on the other hand and this, but it's okay.
I'm going to switch out of 5th period. I honestly can't bare with the students in Steven's class. I got degraded to a non-honors US History class since I decided to take Philosophy for 6th, which was my fall semester period for History. I don't want to sound mean, and maybe it's because I don't understand it or maybe it's the fact that I don't know anyone in there, but I really dislike how disrespectful and loud the students are in that class. And the teacher has no control whatsoever. I feel like if I stay in that class, I'll get nothing done because I'll be using my earphones trying to ignore the noises of the loud students all semester long.
I was nice today. There's a difference between being nice and lying. I wasn't lying. My laughter, my smiles were real. I'm just not sure if I was sincere about it. And I know, that part is not nice, but the fact that I held my tongue back, kept my patience, and kept my composure, in my opinion, was me being nice. I'll be better soon. I promise.
I have one night to read 200 pages. Haha. =)
I'm going to die this semester. =D
Praise God for school!
I'm going to switch out of 5th period. I honestly can't bare with the students in Steven's class. I got degraded to a non-honors US History class since I decided to take Philosophy for 6th, which was my fall semester period for History. I don't want to sound mean, and maybe it's because I don't understand it or maybe it's the fact that I don't know anyone in there, but I really dislike how disrespectful and loud the students are in that class. And the teacher has no control whatsoever. I feel like if I stay in that class, I'll get nothing done because I'll be using my earphones trying to ignore the noises of the loud students all semester long.
I was nice today. There's a difference between being nice and lying. I wasn't lying. My laughter, my smiles were real. I'm just not sure if I was sincere about it. And I know, that part is not nice, but the fact that I held my tongue back, kept my patience, and kept my composure, in my opinion, was me being nice. I'll be better soon. I promise.
I have one night to read 200 pages. Haha. =)
I'm going to die this semester. =D
Praise God for school!
Monday, February 06, 2006
Semper Fidelis
"I'll stop the world and melt with you."
+EDIT+
A year ago, I had no voice, I had new friends and returned from the Confirmation Retreat the day before.
Today, things happened.
February 6th is... Momentous? Kinda... Exceptional? I guess... Significant? Yeah, but better... February 6th is specialer--Yes! That's it: "Specialer"! Though it may not be a word, it's the only word I can come up with for the time being. Everyday is special in itself, but today was just a true blessing.
Who knows what God has in store for us...
King of kings, my savior, my Lord, my God, I'm sorry I lost my patience. I'm sorry for doubting You. But thank you so much for answering my prayers.
Michael Bublé is currently on rotation. He's right:
"And I think to myself what a wonderful world."
+EDIT+
A year ago, I had no voice, I had new friends and returned from the Confirmation Retreat the day before.
Today, things happened.
February 6th is... Momentous? Kinda... Exceptional? I guess... Significant? Yeah, but better... February 6th is specialer--Yes! That's it: "Specialer"! Though it may not be a word, it's the only word I can come up with for the time being. Everyday is special in itself, but today was just a true blessing.
Who knows what God has in store for us...
King of kings, my savior, my Lord, my God, I'm sorry I lost my patience. I'm sorry for doubting You. But thank you so much for answering my prayers.
Michael Bublé is currently on rotation. He's right:
"And I think to myself what a wonderful world."
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Gettin' comfortable
I wouldn't mind driving alone from time to time--even if its for running errands. It's amusing.
My goodness. My computer is lagging like crazy and it's driving me nuts! It's like I have dial up again. Hahah.
Driving to mass was ehh. I was kinda nervous just because I've never really parked a car at a public parking place. When ever I drive, my parents always end up taking the car and going back home. Hah. Saw Dexter--welcome back!
I'm cleaning out the computer so I guess I'll be around. No school tomorrow!! Whoopie! =)
My goodness. My computer is lagging like crazy and it's driving me nuts! It's like I have dial up again. Hahah.
Driving to mass was ehh. I was kinda nervous just because I've never really parked a car at a public parking place. When ever I drive, my parents always end up taking the car and going back home. Hah. Saw Dexter--welcome back!
I'm cleaning out the computer so I guess I'll be around. No school tomorrow!! Whoopie! =)
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Korean Drama
An-nyong Ha-se-yo! (Hello!)
Ne (Yes), I'm in that stage again. Watching Korean Drama Series. My Lovely Sam Soon & Sweet Spy are awesome shows. I wish I can find Sweet Spy subtitled without having to buy it or wait for it to come on every Monday and Tuesday.
Dennis O'neil & Daniel Henney. Who are they? Cute Korean-American boys who look really really similar. Daniel plays guitar and sings nicely and acts fairly well. Dennis seems cuter to me and acts pretty decently, but he could act better if he had better lines. They're cool.
An-nyong hi! (So long!)
Ne (Yes), I'm in that stage again. Watching Korean Drama Series. My Lovely Sam Soon & Sweet Spy are awesome shows. I wish I can find Sweet Spy subtitled without having to buy it or wait for it to come on every Monday and Tuesday.
Dennis O'neil & Daniel Henney. Who are they? Cute Korean-American boys who look really really similar. Daniel plays guitar and sings nicely and acts fairly well. Dennis seems cuter to me and acts pretty decently, but he could act better if he had better lines. They're cool.
An-nyong hi! (So long!)
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Bodacious!
Hahah. "Bodacious." I love that word!
So past couple of days or so has been spent laughing, wasting money, and pigging out. Haha.
Tuesday: 1st and 4th period final. Well, not really. 1st period was a really major test for a chapter that we ONLY went over morning of. I swear... my AP Env. Sci. teacher is a little on the crazy side. 4th period was presentation/discussion which went really well. Ate out at Thai BBQ with Sam, Stef, Shanice, and Lynn. (Thanks for paying, Lynn!) Had some major laughs and luckily saw Melinda, with Raul, before she left for Vegas at the bus stop.
Wednesday: 3rd and 5th. Totally failed the Spanish Final, but I'm still at a B. My Spanish teacher is theee coolest. She's real and asks for help when she needs it. I'm glad to be of service to her. =) Anyway, spent 5th period in her class again helping out with the grades for her classes. Stef, Alishba and Sam came in the second half and we laughed it up for a while and had some pretty interesting conversations with Ms. Herrera. "I'm gonna cut off your feet!" Hah! And Confirmation--no doubt--was productive, so praise God for that!
Today: 2nd and 6th. Took a chapter test as a final for Math. It wasn't so bad. It would've been a lot easier on my part if I actually took the time to write out notes, but my-lazy-self didn't take advantage of that. I took the test all on memory which was really dumb of me, considering I spent the past week daydreaming and listening to music while the teacher lectured. But all in all, I think I did fine. 6th was spent in Mrs. Weir's class--even tho I don't have her at all. Haha. Played some card games like Spoons/Highlighters, Good Morning 9, and Mafia--blind Mafia. I miss card games. =) My brother lost my pack of cards which I bought from San Francisco last fall. =/ Anyway, afterschool, went with the same group of people + Elton to In-n-Out and got fatter. Haha. Dexter's coming back home--yay! Then I went to go sing for mass which went rather well. Good job on cantoring, Sister Bridgette!! =)
Now, I'm gonna go watch this Korean Drama cuz it's tight!! And then I'll go to sleep and sleep in until 9 cuz I don't really have to be at school, but I'm going anywayyy. =)
So past couple of days or so has been spent laughing, wasting money, and pigging out. Haha.
Tuesday: 1st and 4th period final. Well, not really. 1st period was a really major test for a chapter that we ONLY went over morning of. I swear... my AP Env. Sci. teacher is a little on the crazy side. 4th period was presentation/discussion which went really well. Ate out at Thai BBQ with Sam, Stef, Shanice, and Lynn. (Thanks for paying, Lynn!) Had some major laughs and luckily saw Melinda, with Raul, before she left for Vegas at the bus stop.
Wednesday: 3rd and 5th. Totally failed the Spanish Final, but I'm still at a B. My Spanish teacher is theee coolest. She's real and asks for help when she needs it. I'm glad to be of service to her. =) Anyway, spent 5th period in her class again helping out with the grades for her classes. Stef, Alishba and Sam came in the second half and we laughed it up for a while and had some pretty interesting conversations with Ms. Herrera. "I'm gonna cut off your feet!" Hah! And Confirmation--no doubt--was productive, so praise God for that!
Today: 2nd and 6th. Took a chapter test as a final for Math. It wasn't so bad. It would've been a lot easier on my part if I actually took the time to write out notes, but my-lazy-self didn't take advantage of that. I took the test all on memory which was really dumb of me, considering I spent the past week daydreaming and listening to music while the teacher lectured. But all in all, I think I did fine. 6th was spent in Mrs. Weir's class--even tho I don't have her at all. Haha. Played some card games like Spoons/Highlighters, Good Morning 9, and Mafia--blind Mafia. I miss card games. =) My brother lost my pack of cards which I bought from San Francisco last fall. =/ Anyway, afterschool, went with the same group of people + Elton to In-n-Out and got fatter. Haha. Dexter's coming back home--yay! Then I went to go sing for mass which went rather well. Good job on cantoring, Sister Bridgette!! =)
Now, I'm gonna go watch this Korean Drama cuz it's tight!! And then I'll go to sleep and sleep in until 9 cuz I don't really have to be at school, but I'm going anywayyy. =)
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