Edward Scissorhands

Storyboard project for Film and Media Studies 85 A.

And if by chance...

...you come to read this post, then that's cool. Remember that this is just temporary. I need to get stuff out in the open without having to share with people/friends/family within close proximity.

...you realize what you're doing to yourself and to others (whom you claim you love), please stop. You're not making it easy on anyone--especially yourself. You and I both know that you don't REALLY need them. They're added blessings; you don't need them (or me, for that matter), but you insist on keeping us all. Stop playing around and just relax. Breathe. Listen.

I see your effort to smile, to laugh and enjoy the life you've been blessed with, but I also see your sorrow, your need to be taken care of, your vulnerability when you cry at night.

I want to be there to help you carry your cross, but sometimes I feel like you don't even want me there. The ironic part of it all is that I know you that sometimes, you actually do need me, that you subconsciously use me to get your prayers answered, and that you love the fact that I wait on you, hand and foot. Sometimes, it bothers me, but I know that in the end, I don't care if you walk all over me. If that's what it takes to make you happy, if that's what it takes to understand you, if that's what it takes for you to see me, then so be it.

Even if your complaints about life are the only things that keep you from letting go of me, I'll still listen. I'll stay up all night to make sure you're all right. I'll walk through the rain, down to hell and back just to make sure you've gotten something to eat. I'll do almost anything and risk almost everything because I love you THAT much.

Sometimes... at least more often than not... I wish you would remember all the things that I have done, am doing and will do for you.

multiply

I moved.

Goodbye, blogger!

(Same URL; just replace "blogger" with "multiply")

So much for summer planning...

What ever happened to Mafia Mondays? Wii Wednesdays? Brunch at Aressa's? Swimming at Cheri's? Baking with Jinger?

It's THAT feeling again. In choosing to be a decent daughter and due to the fact that my stomach has been so vulnerable, I decided to take it chill for a few days. Haven't gone out since Saturday, and even though I did not drive (meaning I didn't have to be home by 11), I was home by 11. Aside from work, the only time I went out was last week to go to the beach. Not once have I seen friends from school since grad parties. How sad is that?

I'm leaving in a week. I have to pack, finish and distribute debut invitations and completely heal before July 11th. I understand it's a lot to do. But I NEED to chill. IT'S THE LAST SUMMER I HAVE AS A TEENAGER, for crying out loud!

Gah. Thursday, please be good to me.

"Once you stop looking, it'll come around..."

After seeing it once, you'll keep staring and scare it away so that you'll never see it again. In turn, you will once again be led on a search. In due time, you give up and realize there's no use in holding on to hope. You've failed. You fall. You lay around for a while. Then, something you've never noticed, something you looked over, something you never thought could happen sweeps you off your feet. And this once instance of revival pushes you down the endless and repetitive road you always seem to travel on.

It's sad, isn't it?

Rant

At work with no one else but Ms. Betty. Talking about her kids and her house and me and my parents and my vacation. Geesh. I'm really going to miss her when I leave. Haha. I think I'll get her a purse or something from the Philippines... =)

My stomach is killing. It's been getting at me since Thursday night/Friday morning. Random, sharp pains on the side, trouble breathing, crapping out water... NOW It's getting harder to swallow and I'm coughing. I don't think its my stomach anymore but my immune system sucks ass! I just wish I'm not sick when I go on vacation...

Speaking of which, I have a lot of serious business to take care of. Lots of debut stuff to handle, wedding stuff, baptism stuff, and fun stuff! =) Sometimes it doesn't even seem like a vacation, but I know I'll have fun regardless because of the people I'll be with! (No, not just my sister and my brother--my WHOLE family whom I haven't seen in 10 years!)

Oh, and yes, I will be having a debut...

So! What's going on!

Wow, dude...

I went over text messages. Haha. Who would have thought it would happen... I certainly wouldn't have thought so!

She's right. Gahhh. I hate that I can't be honest...

Weee for summer! =)

"Lost and Found" by DMADL

You start by moving,
as you walk, run, or sprint
to where you wish to go
Then you realize that you are
Lost
In a small world you have explored everyday,
You are
Lost
In a place you could tread with your eyes closed,
You are
Lost
You stop
For a short gasp of breath
You look
for familiar faces with smiles
You listen
For chuckles, wheezes, whispers, gossip, yells, and groans
You feel
For the warmth of love and embrace of company from friends
Only to find
Coldness
Anonymity
Indifference
Monotony
Emptiness

Then, you move on

Walking, striding, running, sprinting,
Like a ray of light that pierces a cut diamond
You find yourself hitherto, thitherto,
You rush to classrooms and gardens
In search of warm company
And as you do find these circles
That are not of your own
You feel repulsion
Stain
Defiance
Territory
Rejection
You stop
from bursting a living bubble
You listen
for a familiar tune that calls you to it
You feel
a chilling breeze that whisks you away

Then, you move on.

You stop and feast your eyes on a fresh ensaymada
You take a few pesos out of your malnourished wallent
Take a bite out of your newly purchased merienda
Then realize you are not even hungry
You think twice, one thought for the street child, another for the green trash bin beside you
Goodbye, ensaymada.

Then, you move on.

Walking, striding, running, sprinting,
Sprinting, running, striding, walking
Your body runs as your mind walks
Your mind runs as your body walks
You dart into your own world
Walking aimlessy under the shy sun

Then, a familiar sound.

Fifteen times, the sweet bell resounds
You stop
To repaint the blurry image in your mind--a room of chalk and cheers and chicks
You look
Toward the rocky walkway, slowly being filled with faces floating dreamily
You listen
For the last notes of the anticipated signal
You feel
The growing rush of excitement and candor and joy

The signal stops.

Then, you move on
Walking, striding, running, sprinting,
Toward the bright world you call your own.

"Your imperfections make you perfect..."

THOSE are the magic words. =)

Thank you for remembering, Angela...

I'm at work but nothing's really going on. I brought my yearbook along and all the entries are punching me in the face; high school is really over... I'm still amazed.

Mwahah!

Down the street, around the corner, under the lamppost, in the rain.

One day...

I'm in that girly mood. Oh no... Haha!
WARNING: do not provoke me, do not stop me. Just let me be. =)